Hard to swallow...

Grim warnings were issued last month that many of today's children will predecease their parents as a result of cancer, heart disease and other conditions caused by their addiction to junk food. A survey by Cancer Research UK showed that only 3% of the population are aware that being overweight increases the risk of developing cancer, while 30% do not know that being overweight makes them more prone to heart disease.

At the beginning of April Chazz Weaver, a 48-year old resident of Orange County, began a new diet, consisting of nothing but McDonalds food for a 30-day period to prove that most Americans are receiving incorrect information about their health. 'Unfortunately, we receive most of our health and fitness information from the industry itself rather than from an objective third party,' said Weaver. 'My purpose is to educate the public about the mountain of misinformation communicated to them regarding obesity and weight loss.'

Apart from an enormously high boredom threshold and resilient tastebuds, it is not entirely clear what the nutrition and fitness guru expects to prove by his experiment.

In the meantime, the fast food chain is trying to establish a healthier image. It has dropped its super-size portions and is embarking on a frenzy of marketing, in an attempt to woo back jaded consumers around the world through a global campaign that is 'relevant, hip, energetic and powerful'. However, to avoid alienating its loyal clientele it has promoted Ronald McDonald, its clown mascot, to the post of 'chief happiness officer' to help spearhead the campaign. The company declined to disclose details of his pay and terms of employment.

'Everything good about McDonald's is embodied in Ronald,' said the late chairman and chief executive Jim Cantalupo, shortly before he died of a heart attack last month. 'There's a little bit of Ronald in all of us. He'll be a great addition to our board meetings.'

Perhaps the next addition to the menu should be a big slice of fruitcake.